Close you eyes.

My blog is probably going to be changing drastically within the next fifty-eight days or so, I live on my own with my boyfriend, two dogs and we're expecting our little addition. I currently reblog a lot of things I find funny. I write short paragraphs about what Andrew and I are doing or talking about. I also write long boring stories that I don't really expect anyone to read. I have Anon turned on, but I don't respond to hate in any way shape or form.
Recent Tweets @
500daysofeffyou:

It has begun.

500daysofeffyou:

It has begun.

basedheisenberg:

Remember when Anthony Weiner’s nudes got leaked, but it was “his fault for photographing himself in the first place” and somehow he “should have known better”, before being forced to resign in shame by the incessant mocking at the hands of a media and populous that’s now expressing moral outrage over the same thing happening to a bunch of celebrities?

(via 500daysofeffyou)

500daysofeffyou:

Kinda want to see some cover art for The Endless River tho

idratherbeinkonoha:

Stop tumblr 2014

(via 500daysofeffyou)

500daysofeffyou:

I roommate came home piss drunk last night while I was watching 2001: A Space Odyssey and he asked what I was watching and I told him and he slurred (this is me paraphrasing because he was barely forming complete sentences): “dude, if you wanna watch movies from the early 2000s that’s cool with me I’m not gonna judge you.”

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

(via orgasmic-humor)

castieltherebel:

conquerorwurm:

computeraidedenrichmentblog:

smokywarfare:

If the multiverse theory is true, then there’s a universe where it isn’t.

Multiverse theory doesn’t cover paradoxical situations

Except in the universe where it does

i’m having an aneurysm

(via orgasmic-humor)

itsametaphor-fool:

Lowkey upset about an animated horse’s drug-induced hallucination about his family that could have been

(via 500daysofeffyou)

Coming in at #1 is DADA!

runecestershire:

tyreenosaurusrex:

In honor of Shakespeare’s 450th birthday, I would like to take this moment and share a profound quotation from the bard:

image

Such mastery of the English language.

Remember that when this goes down, they are indoors.

(via orgasmic-humor)

Life is so hard when your best friend is a 9.5/10 and you’re a strong 4 with the right filter and lighting

(via 500daysofeffyou)

I got Jamaican Patties from the farmer’s market and I am contemplating eating them now, or waiting a little bit. But, I also got ginger beer and I am in heaven.

guldo:

IM FUCKIN CRYING

(via 500daysofeffyou)

My bouquet from my wedding. This is literally my favorite picture out of all of them so far.